Wha Hoppened?!

I will tell you what happened...I have ballooned to an incredulous weight.  A momentous, egregious, filthy, horrific, monstrous, from the depths of hell, ridiculous amount of weight has glommed onto my body.  It really isn't pretty, folks.

I bought a scale yesterday and if you couldn't tell already, I used it today.  I cannot even write the number down or speak of it...and you all know that I, at times, have vomit of the mouth.  I usually end up telling someone by the second or third time I have met them way too personal information about myself but that's me.  This though. This!  I cannot speak of.  One might ask, "Why get a scale?  It only will disgust you and make you cringe.  That's why I don't get a scale."  I have heard this numerous times.  I got the damn scale to do just that, disgust me and make me cringe...nothing else has seemed to motivate me to get off my lazy ass and do something about my exponentially growing figure.  And let me tell you, folks, this number has motivated me more than I ever imagined.  Elliptical, here I come!

P.S. Please all keep your fingers crossed for me that I actually get my lazy ass in gear.  I need all of the support and good mojo that I can get for this endeavor.

Palindrome?

Exactly.
Communications major: What the hell is a palindrome?
English major: No, it isn't.

California State University
Fullerton, California

Overheard by: SixPackReich
via Overheard Everywhere, Apr 7, 2010

Miss Pole? Yes, Please!

So, I signed up with some friends, Justina, Laura and Kari, to do this combo Pole Dancing/Strip class at Miss Pole.  Um, yeah, I have to say it is the greatest aerobics class I have ever taken, that we, collectively, have ever taken.  We wanted the class to just keep going and going.  And now, we want to swing on anything that is remotely swingable.  We are going to do every single class that Miss Pole offers which includes Pole 1 (the one we are taking now), Pole 2, Pole 3, Lap Dancing and Strip Tease, among others.  Thankfully, we have 5 more weeks of this class.  Yay!

OMG! I Can't Believe It!

A Scrunchy? Really?

Ok.  So, I am pretty sure it is not 1996 but things can get confusing when you see a scrunchy in someone's hair on the shuttle ride to your building and you haven't had any coffee and you didn't get home until about 12:20 the night before.  I really just don't get it.  Any sane person knows that scrunchies mean only one thing, ok, two...1) you are a redneck and 2) you just got here in a hot tub time machine.  An the worst part of this whole thing...she had the scrunchy right under an inside out ponytail!  Like this one...

Again, circa 1996.  I guess it could have been worse.  Case in point...