FUBAR

I think that mostly everybody knows what FUBAR stands for but for those who don't (like my friend Mariah) I will give you the run down...Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition. Playing volleyball at your neighborhood bar with many of your friends can have somewhat of this effect on you. Yes, folks, I joined a volleyball team at Dexter's. We are happily known as Dexter's Drunks...fitting, I know. We play every Monday so come on down and have a brew or 10 with us if you get a chance.

We started off the game a little rough but steadily came back to win the last match. Kevin turned to us and said "I don't know what you guys were talking about, you guys are good." I think we surprised ourselves even cause we did actually do pretty well and I think our team can only go up from here...especially when we have our T-shirts with our awesome nicknames:

Nick - Big Poppa

Kevin - G. M. Head (I think you might be able to figure out what G. M. stands for)

Chad - C-Money

Justina - J-Twon

Mariah - MFly

Laura - Tha Captain

Maggi - T-A (pronounced Ta-Dash-A, this is the name of a girl one of Mariah's co-workers knows and that is how they spell her name, poor child {in my case this could also be construed as T and A and we all know what that is})

Cheryl - T-Bell

Ben - Mr. Dover - It took me just a few seconds to get this one...give me a break, it was Monday. I always have trouble thinking in full force on Mondays.

Anyway, it was totally fun but I did stay out too late that first Monday. The second Monday went a bit better with me getting tipsy but I was home by 10pm...And, we won all three games that time! Things are lookin' up!

Get Down With The Sickness

Ah, in the great words of System of a Down. My friends Brent, Trav and Brian would appreciate that sentiment.

What is it with being sick at the most inopportune times? I have friends coming to town and Mama Showers to attend and there will be many drinks to be had and I cannot breath out of my left nostril. I am sure this will move to the right nostril at some point today and then just cut off my breathing out of my nose altogether. That is the worst part of having a cold, not being able to breath out of at least one nostril. I am also coughing up a storm but at least my throat doesn't feel like someone took a razer to the sides of it anymore. I also got Mike to stop and grab me some DayQuil (Walgreens brand) yesterday on his way home from getting a new Weber Smokey Joe grill so we could grill our tilapia last night. When I started feeling like I was getting sick, he picked me up some Walgreens version of Sudafed or some shit and that just did not do a thing for me. I need the Dayquil cold medicine. It is the only thing that seems to clear my head...I always get cloudy in my head when I get a cold.

Luckily, for my friends and for the integrity of the weekend, I can take cold medicine and drink. Medication affects people in different ways and I happen to be a person who doesn't get loopy from cold medicine in any way, shape or form (this is great because I need to buck up this weekend...there has never been a weekend where Lauren comes to town and there isn't a lot of drinking...and Emily will be here as well and she doesn't get to let loose much so I am sure she will be ready to go as well) This brings me to a story...

I remember the first time I met Claire's law school friends. It was winter and they were studying or doing something so I met them out for some drinks. I was sick and my head was so cloudy so I said that I would run ahead of them and run into the Stop and Shop (I needed medication badly). They did not have any Dayquil in caplets so I had to purchase the liquid stuff. I didn't realize that everyone would be waiting outside for me, so I come out just chugging this cold medication and then first thing that comes out of my mouth after I get done chugging is, "Alright! Let's go get some martinis!" I am sure they thought I was some druggie, crazy person (not entirely false) but I just can do that and it doesn't affect me like it may affect others.

So, case in point, I should be good to go this weekend even if I cannot breath out of my nostrils. Oh, one of the other great inventions for colds that I never leave home without (except for today at work), nasal spray. So, I will be good to go with the drinking and with the breathing...at least until Sunday and Monday that is...and most likely into Tuesday.

That is another thing. I was talking with my friend Mariah one Monday after we had both been drinking pretty heavily the weekend before and we both agreed that it is getting harder and harder to get over hangovers these days. It takes some ungodly amount of days, something like 2 or sometimes 3 days depending on the bender we had. We also agreed that we just feel stupid for a few days after a heavy night of drinking. Just slow, cloudy, unable to form and comprehend simple words and statements. Well, bring it on this weekend, I say! Cheers!

Miscellaneous

Ok, so sorry for the last couple excruciatingly long posts. Sorry if they were boring. I am so bored here at work that I want to rip my eyes out. I just keep looking out at the beautiful day and wish that I was out there and not in here just trying to think of things to look up on the internet. And to be quite honest there is nothing to look up. I would love to look at shoes but all I want to do is buy them and I can't at the moment so that sucks. I think I am going to have to start bringing a flask to work. I already ate my sandwich that I saved from yesterday because we had Mexican Beef Barley soup here at work and it goes so perfectly with the jalepeno cheddar rolls that I have to get it everytime it's here so I did. Now, I want the Wisconsin cheese soup even though I am not that hungry but this is definitely a side effect of being bored. I guess I will go get my soup, eat it and then file some materials. The only reason I am happy that my car is screwed up is because I get to leave here at 3:30 so my dad can take a look at it. I must go now since this is just becoming a stupid post. Check you on the flipside.

A Few Things To Talk About

So, it has been almost a week since I last posted something. Let me bring you up to speed in the life of Maggi.

Last week was kind of busy as my boss and I were preparing for him to be gone this entire week. He is out at the ISMRM (International Society of Magnetic Resonance in Medicine) Annual Meeting which is in Honolulu, Hawaii this year. Not a bad place to be at the moment considering the lovely, rainy weather we are currently being subjected to...not that Hawaii wouldn't be a lovely place to be at just about any moment cause it would. It also didn't help last week when our beautiful new research facility, the Wisconsin Institutes for Medical Research (WIMR) (If you can't tell, the medical field really likes acronyms), had a flood in the MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging) bay. A coolant hose disconnected spewing water at 30 gallons per minute which then leaked down into the basement directly on to our PET/CT scanners which, of course, are our most revenue generating scanners. GE Healthcare was here yesterday checking it out and they thought they might be able to fire it up...I haven't heard yet what happened. Our boss man said this could push us back months, maybe even a year and with state budget cuts, this came at a very inopportune time.

So, anyway, we got everything together for the trip and I sent boss man on his way (meaning I left work to start my weekend). This weekend included a bit of drinking and yummy food on Friday night with my fiance, Mike, at the always entertaining Dexter's. I got to see my friend Molly's skeletor baby (this is what she calls it because you could see all her little spinal bones and whatnot so don't get your undies in a bundle). Ok, I must interject here for a bit about the way babies look in the womb. I don't get creationists at all but I really don't get it when you can completely see the evidence of how we came from primates even in an ultrasound. Now, maybe it is just the way the ultrasound pictures make them look but to me it seems quite clear that we came from orangatans cause before we are fully developed and pop out of our mother's, we look like monkeys in the womb. It is weird and I am not trying to say that Molly's baby looks like a monkey but she does at this point (ok, I lied). Moving on...

So, we were home from Dexter's and in bed by about 10 PM cause we are just that wild and crazy. I was up early on Saturday to get my butt ready to head down to Dodgeville (the lovely Southwestern Wisconsin town I grew up in...lovely meaning too small, conservative and with little to choose from in regards to good food...I don't mean to knock it too much cause I did have a great time growing up there and I love visiting). So, I headed down to meet friends for a bridal shower and bachelorette party for my friend Jackie L. We headed to the shower at 2, ate, saw her open an incredible amount of presents (I am always amazed, for some reason, at the seemingly truck loads of gifts at these things...and then I get excited thinking about my shower, hehehe) and then headed back to Carla's to drink the cache of wine we had stashed there from the weekend before (we got together for Carla's bday).

So, we started with wine at approximately 4:45 pm and got ourselves glamourized for the bachelorette party as we had to meet for the bus at Jeffrey's Bar at 6:30. There was momentous amounts of beer and booze for shots on the bus as we made our way to Mineral Point, then Platteville, then Montfort and back to Dodgeville by midnight. Needless to say there was much drunkenness and even more dancing. By the end of the night I couldn't even drink anymore so I kept drinking water which is the only thing that saved me the next day...that and McDonald's breakfast.

Now, I am back at work and ready for the week. Oh, as you can tell, no jury duty this week. My number wasn't even in the pool of people who were to show up yesterday. Bummer. Maybe next time. Now all I can do is wait and hope this week goes by fast so I can get to partying with my loverly ladies cause we are going to have a Mama Shower this weekend for our preggo friends Molly and Jackie J. Friends from out of town will be here visiting and I can't wait! Brunch, booze (for the non-preggos, obviously) and games with a cookout to cap off the night, and most likely some karoake down at Wilson's. Get your songs ready, chicas!

The Rural Juror

Or in my case, the City of Madison, Dane County Juror.

Sorry that I have been MIA folks, but it has actually been somewhat busy for me here at work. It didn't help that I missed half of Monday because I needed to report downtown for jury duty. While there was a lot of waiting around, the whole process was quite interesting.

We all had to check in and we were given a juror badge, a little card to fill out and a ticket for a free coffee, soda or water from the cafe. We then had to go sit in this big room and fill out our card. Approximately 45 minutes later, two county clerks came in and gave their speals about how this is a very important duty, they gave some information about parking and what to do about work, etc. Then we had to watch a video about the courtroom and jury process. We then had a break for 20 minutes which I used to go out to the parking ramp to plug my meter until noon (about $5 or so) because we are responsible for parking until noon since after that you are generally selected for a jury or have left because you weren't picked.

Which one was I, you ask? Well, I would love to tell you. After we came back in by 9:15am after the break, we sat for approximately another 20 minutes or so and the clerk came in with a bailiff to take the first jury panel to the judge. I was not in this panel. Approximately 20 minutes to a half hour after that, the clerk came in again and called off the pool numbers for the next group, of which I was a part of. We were taken to the judge's courtroom and filed in. We all sat in the pew-type seats behind the bar. The judge gave us some information regarding the case and told us approximately how long the trial would last. It was going to start that afternoon and go until sometime on Wednesday, he said, but the end really is up to how long it would take us to deliberate and come back with a verdict. 22 of us were called up into the jury box, of which I was a part of as well, number 5, in fact. One person stated she had a funeral on Wednesday, the judge dismissed her but she had to go back down to the Jury Assembly room and check in as she might be asked to serve on another jury. She was replaced with another person from the panel of people still sitting behind the bar. Another man stated that his father-in-law was hospitalized and he is the oldest son-in-law and therefore is the contact person. The judge dismissed this man and he was also replaced with another member of the jury panel.

The judge then asked multiple questions to which a few responded. One or two more people were dismissed and replaced. Then the attorneys were allowed to ask questions. Now this was a case where there was a petitioner and a respondent and it was a closed session to keep confidential the identities of the people involved. So council for the petitioner asked us various questions and then on to the responder's attorney. No one else responded so no one else was dismissed. The attorneys had was is called peremtory challenge which means they can just cross you off the list and dismiss you as part of this jury without any reason. So, they passed the list back and forth until they had whittled us 22 down for 14. The judge called the names of the jury members and asked them to stand. These were the people chosen for this trial. I was left sitting. So, the rest of us were dismissed and we went back to report in and we were told we were done for the week.

Bummer! At first was not happy to be doing anything related to this on Monday morning but as things kept unfolding I realized how interested I was. I have not yet mentioned in any of my posts but I am a HUGE Law & Order fan. I have been watching that show since I was about 10 years old. I love it so much my wallpaper on my phone is Sam Watterston (former ADA but the current DA Jack McCoy) and my screen saver on said phone is Jerry Orbach (former Detective Lenny Briscoe). So, I was sort of a part of my own little Law & Order and the whole process of being selected as a jury member and then participating as part of that jury just really took me. Also, I was kind of perturbed that I was dismissed from the jury because I didn't open my mouth once. I have to call this Thursday to find out if I am part of the pool who needs to report next week. Here's hoping I get picked next week. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Let's Get Physical, Physical!

While I am not talking about what Olivia Newton John is talking about in her 1982 hit, I am talking about getting physical in another way...using my elliptical machine for more than three days before returning myself to couch potato lazydom. I have worked out for a week and a half now, which includes 6 workout sessions (aka: the longest I think I have gone in 5 or 6 years). I really think it is going to stick this time much like I think this blog has stuck. I won't be exactly where I want to be at the end of May when I have to lounge poolside with my cousin Elena in Omaha but I should at least be fine wearing a swimsuit by then. I have even started using our Bowflex to tone and build some of my muscle back to actual muscle instead of the flabby, giggly things that I currently have. I suspect the toning and what not will take a while but at least by building up the muscles somewhat I should be able to burn more fat and at least slim down a bit in the belly and upper thigh area. Here's hoping.

Here's also hoping that I am not being completely naive and off the mark in saying that I will be swimsuit ready by the end of May as I will have approximately just under 2 months of working out under my belt. I seem to have a fairly decent metabolism still and I have been working on eating better and smaller portions of food. I am not a person who deprives herself of much though so I won't expect too much. And, as I mentioned before, I like to drink, anything just about, which includes many different kinds of beer, many of which, I assume, don't have the lowest of calories, and, in fact, tend to be more along the high end I am sure. This I will never give up. So, while I am working towards a svelter body, I do not kid myself into thinking I will get anywhere close to anything like a size 2 , in fact, I probably won't ever get down to even a size 4 or 6 but I would be happy with an 8. As long as I can swim and sun in a bikini and not feel like I am trying to squeeze 10 pounds of sausage into a 5 pound bag, I will have accomplished what I set out to do. And maybe, just maybe, I might surprise myself.

Get LOST!

Okay, so again referencing my first post, remember how I informed you all of my obsession with the tv show Lost. Well, something equally amazing and terrifying has happened regarding this ridiculously awesome show...Mike and I have caught up to the new episodes airing each Wednesday night.

Last night, after some dinner at the always tasty Great Dane with some co-workers, I got in my comfy clothes and nestled myself just right on the couch while Mike got the episode that I hadn't finished set up in the Wii. Mariah stopped over right as I was getting to the end of that episode. Mariah decided to stay and watch last week's episode with Mike and I so we all curled up and got ready to watch it. Mariah had already seen this one but she said it is one of her favorite episodes so she was fine watching it again. And, holy shit, it was a great episode! Then, naturally, we couldn't wait to watch last night's episode which had taped while we were watching the previous one. It was bittersweet in all its glory as it was a great episode but, alas, we now have to wait a week to see the next one.

Until next week....

Here Comes The Bride!

So, today we (and by we I mean my parents) put money down for the Concourse Hotel Capitol Ballroom for the wedding reception. If you remember from my first post, my fiance, Mike, and I are getting married. It will be June 5, 2010, three days before Mike's birthday. I will make sure he is fully aware that he will be getting only one present for both occasions in the future so don't think otherwise, mister!

I am very excited as it seems more real now. Now, I just have to get moving on calling the Capitol police to see what they can do for me regarding a ceremony on the Capitol lawn (I was supposed to do this today, oops; tomorrow is another day). Now, it is official, we will have two weddings in the summer of 2010 in our little family (our friends Kari and Brent are getting married in August!).

I know that it is always inevitable but I guess I really didn't think I would be seeing all of these life changes, weddings and babies, so soon. Then I remember that I am 27, turning 28 this November and some of my friends are in there early 30s so it does make complete sense for our ages. My Mom would always say to me, "Wait until your 30 to get married!" Well, it'll be pretty close, Mom. You got your wish.

My Favorite Word...

is Fuck.

My last blog may have given the wrong impression. I put that "Weather in Wisconsin is a wiley f***er". I should not have added the asterisks as fuck truly is my favorite word and should not be hidden away like that lube bottle you keep in your room. Fuck can be anything you want it to be and express all emotions just like "Forget about it" as described in Donnie Brasco:

FBI Technician: What's forget about it?
Donnie Brasco: Forget about it is like if you agree with someone, you know, like Raquel Welch is one great piece of ass, forget about it. But then, if you disagree, like a Lincoln is better than a Cadillac? Forget about it! you know? But then, it's also like if something's the greatest thing in the world, like mingia, those peppers, forget about it. But it's also like saying Go to hell! too. Like, you know, like "Hey Paulie, you got a one inch pecker?" and Paulie says "Forget about it!"
Sometimes it just means forget about it.

The definition of "fuck" (circa 1503 and from the Dutch fokken meaning to breed as in cattle and from the Swedish fokka meaning to copulate, however, "fuck up' and "fuck off" did not come into play until 1929 and 1945 respectively), whether verb or noun, starts with either usually obscene or usually vulgar. This definition being by favorite:

2 b usually vulgar —used especially with the as a meaningless intensive (what the fuck do they want from me)

This is from the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, which I suggest using for all of your definition, thesaurus, translation needs. Now, naturally, I do not agree with the usually obscene or usually vulgar part of the definition. Perhaps it isn't right but I feel like the word has come a long way from its obscene and vulgar roots to become what it was supposed to become...the best word in every language. I know the word is still looked at as somewhat socially unacceptable but that just means we need to band together and keep using it as casually as one should. We will one day get it to the level of acceptability this fucker wants it to be at (ok, so I am going out on a limb here but just roll with me). One day "fuck" will be used by all leaders in this world and it will trickle down to church goers and school teachers alike. Children will yell "fuck" as they playfully run through the garden sprinkler on a blissful summer afternoon. "Fuck" will be the new "Grease". "Fuck" is the word, my friends...Fuck is the word.

Aside: This fucker does not actually fucking condone children using the word "fuck". That was merely a fucking rant and a fucking bad joke, but a fucking joke nonetheless. I fucking apologize for offending any of you fuckers who found that fucking offensive and I fucking feel bad for your fucking horrible fucking sense of fucking humor. Fuck! ;)

Everybody's Workin' For The Weekend

However, I am not working. This is more like how my day has been:



I am falling asleep here because I actually am majorly on top of my work. It is like I am in bizzaro world. I have been in this position for 1 year and 3 months and this has never happened. I am just sitting, waiting for the other shoe to drop and when the shoe drops here, it really friggen' drops.

But for now, I will think about the weekend. I actually don't really have anything planned which is entirely out of the norm. There is usually something going on or people getting together for some reason or another (or no reason at all - which is actually more of what it is like) but a few of us our gone or busy with other things. Mariah is in Arizona, Jackie and Trav are in Mexico, Claire and Jeffrey have moved to Waukesha (hope everything is going alright and you are getting settled), Kari has the T-man (her son, Trevor) this weekend, Molly is working and sick, Lauren lives in Minneapolis. It is kind of nice to not have anything planned but it is also kind of sad that I probably won't see anyone. I do have plans on Sunday to go to the Roller Derby.



So, Madison has the Mad Rollin' Dolls League. It consists of four teams: The Quad Squad, The Reservoir Dolls, The Vaudeville Vixens and The Unholy Rollers. It is a ton of fun! My friends won the raffle at the last bout and since they were going to be out of town they gave their winnings to me. So, I have two free tickets to the VIP party and two free VIP seats at the bout. We'll see what that all entails.

Anyway, we like the names and the outfits so much so we decided to be Roller Derby girls for Halloween this year. At the last bout we were thinking that electric blue should be our color and our name should be The Electric Ladies or Trav came up with The Daisy Dukes. Mariah and I already have our names picked out: Apocalypse Meow and Sigourney Cleaver respectively. It will be hot and I can't wait. I can, however, wait for the cold weather so, I won't put us in Fall too soon. Although, this weekend looks like we might be going back to Winter. Weather in Wisconsin is a wiley little f***er.

Oh, Tis the Season for Traveling!

Hello, my fine feathered friends! So, this is definitely the time for traveling, what with Spring Break and fledgling good weather upon us (I guess rainy, cloudy and dreary are ok since it is not below freezing). I would like to give you a run down of the trips happening in my world:

1) Larissa (student clerical assistant at work): Florida
2) Adam (financial student at work): Los Angeles, California
3) Christa (co-worker): Las Vegas, Nevada
4) Tom (my boss and Chair of dept): Bonaire, Antilles Netherlands (off the coast of Venezuela)
5) Laura and Cheryl: San Diego and Los Angeles, California (the Price is Right show)
6) Lauren: Mexico
7) Jackie and Trav: Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
8) Mariah: Arizona

And last, but not least:
9) Me: Omaha, Nebraska

Or the very least. Yes, my friends, while everyone else around me is going somewhere actually guaranteed to be warm and sunny at least part of the time, I am staying in the Midwest. Now, let me explain. My cousin and one of my very best friends, Elena, lives there which is the main reason why I am going. She is one of the coolest, brightest, most wonderful people I have ever known in my life and we always have a blast together. We also have tickets to Wicked, which we are speculating stars Idina Menzel, famous Broadway actress, whose credits include the original cast of Rent and Wicked. It will still be phenomenal if it does not have her in it but we are hoping. Anyway, I digress.

So, I am going out to Omaha to see my cousin and Wicked and it is only 6 hours away, which definitely saves money as far as traveling goes. Now, will I spend any less on this trip than others may have or will spend on theirs...mmm...my guess is no due to one simple fact:
We like to drink. Not that my other friends don't, I am merely saying that because of this simple fact, my trip will probably end up being not much cheaper than the rest of theirs. Although, when we go out with my cousin's friend Stacy, we tend to get fish bowls and the like for free so I guess it could go either way.

Elena and her boyfriend just moved into a new house and it comes fully stocked and by that I mean has a huge pool with a wrap around deck. They are planning on having a Memorial Weekend pool party there sometime that weekend (which is when I am going out there). Which brings me to the real issue: swimsuit ready body. Now, mine is nowhere near ready and remember I mentioned earlier how lazy I am...Oh, I forgot to mention in my first post the third thing I like best besides booze and tv...it is food and not small amounts of it. I like to drink a lot, eat a lot, sit a lot, oh, and another thing I forgot to mention (I guess you've learned I am also quite forgetful), I like to smoke a lot, too. Now, none of these things make for a swimsuit ready body in about a month and a half but, by god, I will try! I have gotten on my elliptical (only once this week....ssshhhhhh) and I have sort of cut back on my food intake (although not today). The point is I am trying and if I have to wear a granny suit, so be it. I gots no one to impress.

Well, to all those traveling, have a wonderful time and don't get arrested!