The Rise and "Fall" of the Empire

Alright, folks, here we are, at the sad, sad truth...it is officially Fall. Now, Fall is my favorite season, what with all of the wide-eyed students, football games and general energy around campus. The leaves have started to turn and fall, as well. Cozy sweatshirts, long sleeved t-shirts, scarves and that smell of fall just makes me smile. Pumpkins, squash, warm apple cider, cinnamon and spice room scents, cute boots, Tom and Jerrys, a cozy fire (if you have a fireplace...only thing I miss about Eau Claire, besides Mike's family, of course, is the fireplace we had in our really nice apartment), mulled wine, board games cause there isn't much to do outside anymore, the Wii cause there isn't much to do outside anymore, babies being conceived cause there isn't much to do outside anymore ;).

Now for the kicker...it is damn cold out there!!! It is 8, count them, 8! degrees colder this morning than yesterday morning. They are saying our first freeze could be tonight. We've been spoiled here in September, which is part of it, but I just wasn't prepared for the incredible drop in temperature that is so indicative of Wisconsin weather...I never am. I wore socks yesterday and today...SOCKS! Last night I had on pants, socks, a t-shirt, a zip-up, my robe and a fleece blanket on me...now, granted, in my apartment, it doesn't matter if the windows are closed, the air decides it's just going to go ahead and continue to burst into the place anyway but still, that is a lot of layers!

I will admit that while watching Obsessed (with Beyonce Knowles) with my niece this weekend, I got a bit excited for Christmas (towards the beginning of the movie it was Christmas). I love the songs and I always get such a warm feeling when I think about Christmas...then, I remember that with Christmas and Fall, comes snow...generally lots and lots of snow. This is what I am not looking forward to. The only solace is that when it snows, it is not below zero. All of the meteorologists are saying that we are going to have a mild winter...I cross my fingers everyday that this is true. I'll believe it when I see it. We should have a mild winter after the mild summer we had...on the radio, it was stated that we had more 80 degree days in two weeks of September than we had in all of July. I think we deserve a mild winter for that.

Weird Laws Still On The Books

We were talking about weird laws that are still on the books in various states. Here is a list for Wisconsin:

• Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons.
• Whenever two trains meet at an intersection of said tracks, neither shall proceed until the other has.
• As people used to smuggle it in from Illinois, all yellow butter substitute is banned.
• Condoms were considered an obsene article and had to be hidden behind the pharmacist’s counter.
• At one time, margarine was illegal.
• State Law made it illegal to serve apple pie in public restaurants without cheese.
• The state definition of rape stated that it was a man having sex with a woman he knows not to be his wife.
• While all cheese making requires a license, Limburger cheese making requires a master cheese maker’s license.
• It is illegal to kiss on a train.
• It is illegal to cut a woman’s hair.
• Margarine may not be substituted for butter in restaurants unless it is requested by the customer.
• The government may not prohibit manual flushed urinals.
• One may not camp in a wagon on any public highway or risk a fine of up to ten dollars.
• It is a class A misdemeanor to wave a burning torch around in the air.
• It is illegal to throw rocks at a railroad car.
• Livestock have the right-of-way on public roads.

Now here are some from specific cities:

Brookfield

• Tattooing is illegal unless it is done for medical purposes.
• It is unlawful for one to allow another to use the first person’s telephone in order to make prank phone calls.

Hudson

• Screens are required on all windows from May 1 to October 1.
• You are not allowed to put litter into someone else’s trash receptacle without express permission.
• No one may sit on another’s parked vehicle without expressed consent of the owner.

Kenosha

• No male is allowed to be in a state of arousal in public.

La Crosse

• It is illegal to tie up your horse along Third Street (Now a major bar strip).
• It is illegal to display an unclothed mannequin in a store window.
• It is illegal to play checkers in public.
• You cannot “worry a squirrel".

Milwaukee

• An old ordinance forbids parking for over two hours unless a horse is tied to the car.
• It is against the law to play a flute and drums on the streets to attract attention.
• If one is thought of as offensive looking, it is illegal for him to be in public during the day.
• It is illegal to purchase or use Sparklers in the city, yet you can buy fully disassembled automatic machine guns.

Racine

• Missiles may not be shot at parade participants.
• It is illegal to wake a fireman when he is asleep.
• Women may not walk down a public street at night without being accompanied by a man.

Sheboygan

• Only police officers may shoot birds in the city.
• No person may water his lawn in such a way as to annoy his or her neighbor.
• It is illegal to swim in the Fountain Park fountain.

St. Croix

• Women are not allowed to wear anything red in public.

Sun Prairie

• Nuclear weapons may not be manufactured in the city limits.
• Persons may not ride a bicycle with their hands off the handlebars.
• Cats are forbidden from entering cemeteries.
• Even if one gets his/her change “stolen” by a vending machine, hitting the machine violates a city ordinance.
• Unremoved snow on one’s property is considered a public nuisance.

Wauwatosa

• Reserving a city meeting room under a false name is prohibited.
• Spitting on the sidewalk is prohibited.
• If a person shall fail to return books he/she has checked out from the library, that person should return their library card to the library until the books are returned.
• Swimming in water fountains is prohibited.

Genius

(514): Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in --Texts From Last Night

No Shit...

(404): i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
--From Texts From Last Night

In Memorium

"Actor Patrick Swayze, star of "Dirty Dancing" and "Ghost," has died after a battle with cancer, his publicist tells KTLA"--CNN.com Breaking News

This is so disheartening and sad. I know no one can forget "Dirty Dancing" or "Ghost" but I would like to one movie that sometimes gets thrown by the wayside when talking about Patrick Swayze..."Point Break". I loved this movie when I was young. Who couldn't love Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze in this movie. Plot from IMDB:

An FBI agent goes undercover to catch a gang of bank robbers who may be surfers.

And if you haven't seen "To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar", I suggest you go rent it immediately. It is absolutely hysterical! From IMDB:

Three drag queens travel cross-country until their car breaks down, leaving them stranded in a small town.

The movie stars Patrick Swayze, John Leguizamo and Wesley Snipes as the drag queens. It is hilarious. Check out the trailer:

http://movies.nytimes.com/movie/135022/To-Wong-Foo-Thanks-for-Everything-Julie-Newmar/trailers

I think I might have to have a Patrick Swayze movie marathon night.

Don't know if you've noticed...

but I have not started my workout posts which means I have not started my workout regimen...yet. Yes, I do still plan on doing that, especially since the crotch of the pants I am currently wearing at work today insists on being wide open. The pants are zippered, oh yes, but the flap refuses to cover said zipper. I can't really blame the pants, though, can I? Nope. I am sure the pants want to cover their zipper...perhaps it is cold or just doesn't like feeling exposed. Regardless, it is not the pants' fault. No, clearly at fault in this situation are my ever widening hips and incredibly bulbous ass (also ever widening and taking over the lower region of my body).

I know, I know, why don't I just get my ass (and all the other exponentially growing parts) together and just workout already? It is what people like to call lack of motivation, laziness, indolence, soth, inertia, idleness, listlessness, sluggishness, goldbricking...you get the idea. And actually this week, I believe it has to do with the fact that these last couple of weekends have entailed copious amounts of alcohol that are catching up with me, bringing my cold back worse than it was before and giving me the worst case of exhaustion I have felt in a long time.

There has also been so much going on this summer that I never seem to fully recover before the next weekend approaches and it is balls-to-the-wall types of entertainment and stimulus again. I believe that I have had 2, count them, 2 weekends this entire summer that I have actually had nothing planned. I believe I did not move from my couch those 2 entire weekends. It will not let up until about mid-October either. Last weekend, Lauren and other friends were in town and we had our 1st Annual Dunk Tank Extravaganza (best $30 spent probably ever, besides shoes, of course) and the weekend before, Claire was in town for a birthday dinner and night out where the evening was spent "living moment to moment" courtesy of Kari. This weekend I have a bachelorette party in the cities for Mariah's sister Shannon, next weekend is the wedding for said bachelorette in Rochester, MN and then I will have my neice, Kaina, for her birthday weekend. I have the first weekend in October off and then the following, I will be in Chicago to see Kathy Griffin with Elena.

So, anyway, what was I talking about...oh, yeah, working out...gotta keep on top of it. Hopefully I will have some energy tonight to devote to it but if not, I am thinking next week to start?? Oh, shit...

For Jackie

...although I don't think she reads my blog. Oh well, cute and funny anyway:

I. Must. Work. Out.

or I will look like this guy:



I know...I said I was using my workout videos...but I haven't at all this week. So, now I really have to get going on it. I already feel like that guy. I don't quite look like him...yet. I will be back here on Tuesday of next and I will start my weight loss posts. Not that anyone reads my blog (except my Mom and Lisa...oh, and probably my cousin, Elena...and I think Molly said she does...ok, so a few) but it might help me to stay on track if I feel like I have to post about it. I'll try anything at this point, really.

Baby Boom

So, Emily had Olive...what is it, almost 6 months ago now. Jackie had Alex 2 months ago and now Molly is having her baby. She is currently 2 cm dilated and contractions are 3-5 minutes apart. Yay! Another one!

Goodbye, My Loves! I'll Miss You!

Yes, I have decided to quit smoking...not exactly sure why (I know, I know, health reasons and shit) but I am doing it. Mike is quitting so I have decided to quit as well. Well, for the most part...Disclaimer: I reserve the right to bum one or two from Claire or Brian or some other unsuspecting victim when I am having drinks. Oh, what am I getting myself into?!